Topic: Love, Mission: To conquer it

I feel so
[empty]
rotten inside.
Am I really what I think I am?
[or wish to be?]
A mistake?
I see the girls walk by
[and I hate them]
and I wish to be them.
Keeping it all
[together]
is harder than I thought.
I don't know what to fight for,
[or how to fight it]
and I'm
[not letting go]
giving up.
My soul and body are two separate
[pieces]
beings, rejecting the other.
I don't understand why I live
[continue]
this
[facade]
dance of
[regrets]
pain.
My only unwaking
[inhuman]
trance.
Wake me up.
[Don't keep me in winter forever]
Don't let me fall.
Hold me
[close]
tight, and hold
[my waist]
my hand.
{[Forever]}

mY nEvEr EnDiNg NiGhTmAre

H34KF899R
I hAtE tHaT nUmBeR oN mY aRm.
H34KF899R
i LoOk At It EvEry MoRnInG aNd WiSh I wAs SoMewHeRe ElSe.
H34KF899R
It MaKeS mE wAnT tO pUkE.
H34KF899R
wIlL mY eNtIrE lIfE bE sPeNt BeHiNd ThEsE bArS?
H34KF899R
OnE wRoNg MoVe AnD i'M dEaD.
H34KF899R
I aLwAyS pRaY tHeY wIlL kIlL mE,
H34KF899R
BeAcAuSe It MaY jUsT sEt mE fReE.

Her last heartbeat

A blank page whispers,
“Write on me, please.”,
as the transparency of people is lost.
Mangled honesty is held by a tread,
as the last of her prejudice slips away.
Her endangered sanity brings shy music to the world of silence.
Torn rumors sleep in the darkness of light,
and the eyes that have long pieced her heart, gone.
Silver lined thoughts and boiling lust makes the weak fall,
as it did to her.
Spinning desires in their own little webs of greed and lies,
captured the young heart of the innocent.
Sleeping down in her own little bathroom,
Every night she’s begging any and every god to end her life.
A blade to her wrists,
and a Bible sitting beside her.
She takes her last breath,
and plunges into the unending.

Deadly Beautiful Silk

Curves, size zeros,
and deadly beautiful facades.
Childish giggles, pink lipstick
and short denim skirts.
Silken words,
Are dripping with
[poison]
sarcasm.
Bloodless lies and
[broken]
shattered truths are lest the only thing known of me.
Hiding from the
[fear]
cold inside of
[myself. ]
this cave.
I’ve
[spun]
created this
[web]
entanglement of
[pain]
anger.
And I
[should be]
can’t
[the one]
stand up
[who destroys]
against
[my fears.]

Dare to to live.

This is it.
Are you happy?
I'm stretched,
and threadbare.
My threads of life slip through my fingertips,
as the scissors are drawn.
So close to the end,
and yet, so far away.
Cold warped fingers wrap around the skin,
as the icy, fiery hot daggers twist and pull at my heart.
Like the double edged sword to a wound.
Calling to the blind and forcing them to see,
Making the cripple walk,
what have we all come to?
Are we to live in this hell?
Are we to hurt and destroy others?
What id it were your own spouse, or children, or family??
Would you hurt them too?
Can you take my hand and life me up?
Or are you too good to touch me?
Or even glance my way?
Who made you God?
I know that if I were God,
I'd want you to go though all the pain you made me do.
But i have one thing you don't.
Compassionate love.
I know I am not deadly beautiful,
or perfect skinned.
But I do know,
that my life is worth something.

Marine for life

I am so battered, and beaten,
So tired of being here,
I can’t seem to pull myself back together.
I don’t know why I get out of bed every morning.
I only wake up to bombing and gunfire.
Some nights I don’t even get sleep,
I just sit in my foxhole, waiting.
Everyday I do the same,
I’m up to my elbows in blood,
Or I’m dodging the bullets shot at me.
It’s just another day.
Yet I will fight.
I will stand strong.
No one can stop me,
No one will stand in my way.
I can still see that mangled child in the corner.
Crying as she clutched her brother’s corpse.
The only family she had left, gone.
I can remember carrying her out of that little hole,
Her bloodied arms staining my uniform.
I mean, isn’t this was I came here for?
I signed the papers,
I went to boot camp,
I walked on that ship.
I road in that Hummer,
And I slept on that cot.
I will not give up.
I will not give in to doubt.
I will stand,
Until I fall, I will still fight.
Even in death, I will fight for life.
I will not give up.
I will not give….
I will not…
I will…
I…
…

Ms.seeking Mr.

Female seeking kind-hearted male.
A person to hold and cry on,
Someone to tell me it's all okay.
Female seeking sweet, protective, brave male.

He doesn't have to be a James Bond, trying to save the world and keep me happy at the same time.

Just someone who'll come home and ask "What's cookin' babe?".

Female seeking poetic, romantic male.

He doesn't have to be beautiful, or perfect.

Just someone to tell me it's not always my fault,

And say he loves me just the way I am.

Female seeking intelligent, and humorous male.
He doesn't have to be a Jim Carey, or Albert Einstein,
just someone to tell me I look beautiful, even after 12 hours of labor.
But, this female seeking her male,
knows that all men will come and go,
and I know that no will come.
So much for my happy ending.

You were mine.

Bloodless lips fall upon cold skin,
as the silent rain falls around.
My rose withing beside his heartless grave.
I don't know how I get along without you in my life,
I don't know why this ever happened.
I wish with all my heart I could take back my painful and heartless words.
Please forgive me.
Blackened lies,
and forgiving truths blind my eyes.
Please let me tell you "I love you" one last time.
Please give me another chance.
I can't live without us at least being friends.
I don't understand why I hate you so much,
but my love is just as great.
It hurts me everyday,
to see you with another.
I can't even get another lover,
another friend.
I know that I could cry onto your shoulder,
and you'd pull me closer.
Placing a kiss on my forehead you'd tell me "I love you more than the sun."
We would watch others play football, but you'd never leave my side.
You sit there, as if a loyal dog, watching, waiting.
I can still remember the day you told me you loved me,
our first kiss,
and the first inside joke we ever had.
One year, six months you said,
well, it's been One year, three months, and four days.
But it doesn't mean I'm counting.
Everyday when I wake up, it's 'just another day',
but when you were there,
I had a a reason for waking up in the morning,
a reason to smile.
a reason to live.
I have cried all my tears.
I have killed all my fears.
I will not give into the pain,
but it's all too hard.
Every time I see a couple walk by,
I stop and think,
"Why can't that be me?"
I refused to give in,
but now,
I give up.
Just please, give my back my heart.
Let me live again,
I'm tired, and worn.
I hate having to cry,
I hate having to wait.
Just let me be open to life again.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love yo.
I love y
I love
I lov
I lo
I l
I
...

Shreds of Shadows

Her heartbeat quickens,
as his breath tingles against her skin.
Traces of goosebumps raise against the aroused flesh.
She doesn't know how...
Such a pleasant dream it was.
His blonde hair through her fingers,
entwined and twisted.
And his crystal blue eyes, captured hers..
His smiles are my sunshine,
and his frowns; my rain.
I don't know if he ever notices me anymore,
but I don't really expect him too.
I told him it was over, and I don't know why.
Every time we see each other,
it is as if we are the dogs and life is the fight.
We snap and bear our teeth at each other,
and eventually, our words clash.
From then on, I have been a shadow,
a shred of cloud.
A blurry figure in the mist,
the drunken straggler in the blackened alleyway,
who is afraid of the light.
I only wish,
I was able to say "I love you" once again.
and have him in my arms,
telling me it's all okay,
and that even though I am broken,
he will glue me back together.
He was my everything, my all.
The one who would wake me up in the morning,
and puts me to bed in my dreams.
Thunderstorm kisses is the way to describe ours.
You always took care of me,
even if you didn't stand up for me,
I knew you loved me.
You understood my emotions and words,
even if they didn't make sense to others.
I know I could call you late at night,
just to cry.
I know I could hide my head on your shoulder,
and you wouldn't push me away.
Our passionate fingers glued together,
as you stroked my face and carried away my heart.
I knew that you'd be my protector,
my escape.
No matter how much I try,
I can't break away.
I can't regain back my heart.
I fight and try to tear it out of your grasp,
but you hold it tight,
making it watch while you go off with others.
I feel as if you enjoy my tears.
And with that,
there he left her,
on the hard, permeated pavement.

Another sleepless night

Mangled children lay in beds,
as satisfied parents sit at the table.
Silent screams fill the air,
as bloodlust and desire cover the moon.
Killer screams are silenced by crumpled sheets,
And a child, who was once pure at heart,
now killed into a black nothingness.

Bleeding inside

If you could only see,
all the pain you sent me through,
And all the tears that I have lost,
And all the blood that has rained down my fingertips.
My final farewell,
my one last chance to say "I love you" (wasted.
If only we were not separated.
My pain goes unnoticed by others, because of this mask I wear.
As my mask beings to crumble, I fear they will see the hurt behind these tear-bleeding eyes.
My pain is gas to a fire,
And these raining tears isn't putting it out.
Deadly spiders feel as if they are under my skin.
Black Widows bite from underneath.
My pain has been torturing me for so long,
I feel so completely empty.
My satisfaction is never filled.
My life feels useless and a waste of skin.
A crushed rose that lays upon threadbare, tear stained sheets.
Bleeding and death.
Crimson red and cavern black fill my vision as I allow the red drops of my life run down my wrists and pool on the floor.
The white carpet below me is soaked in my pit of regrets and hate.
Tainted, never to be pure again.

Blades of glass and grass

A broken blade of glass may cut deeper that the skin,
One year, six months, you said,
your words a single blade of grass.
All of our passion, all of our love,
Where did it all go?
I miss you so much,
and the feelings we shared.
Everyday I wish I could go back and take back all I said,
Only to have you in my arms again.
You were my lover,
My best friend.
The person I could talk to and cry on,
You were the sun to my little world of darkness and pain,
My small spring.
Sweet, sweet lover,
My shining prince,
How long has it been?
One year, 2 months, and 2 weeks, but who's counting?
Only you stole my heart,
And lifted me up.
Only to throw my back down.
You were my savior and friend,
And now you are my enemy,
My end.

Where I am

Time seems to pass me by,
day in, day out, it all seems to fly.
I can't comprehend how it happens,
Everyday, same routine.
Just the way I flow.
Cryin' everynight till the sheets are stiff with tears,
and my trash can invaded by mucus filled tissues.
It's just not fair,
my friends and family seem to far away,
and this pain won't stop, just a continious throb.
People may think of me as violent person,
yet they know not what goes on inside the heart.
If only the could see the mangled little girl inside.
All the pain and hurt she's been through,
just to stay alive another day.
If only they knew all the anger I've been through,
All the walls I've had to break down, just to get where I am now.

My last Stand

Sleepless nights,

And if I'm lucky, I'll fall asleep.

I don't know what's worst,

heaven or hell.

I'm never noticed when another comes.

I feel as a ghost,

hanging there, never heard, never seen.

I'm breaking, and I can't help myself.

Tears of pain and hatred soak the tearstained sheets.

And angry words blanket the floor in hard nothingness

I seek answers, but the only thing I get is more tearing blood.

Life is at it is, angry and painful.

Sleeping at the rooster crows,

and waking when the wolf howls,

I know what my destiny is.

My destiiny is to live,

give life,

help that life grow,

and [die].

The empty shell

I feel so epmty inside.
Do I even havea purpose?
I see the girls walk by, with their skinny size zero's and Coach purses,
Their little dogs with rhinsetone collars and perfect curves.
And I think, 'Why can't that be me?'.
I evny them so.
I don't know what to fight for,
Or just just the purpose in general.
It's hard to wake up every morning, and make it through the day,
My soul rejected my body.
So all I am is a empty shell?
I don't know how I came to be this way,
This, unwaking trance.
Will I ever awake?
Please, wake me up, hold me close.
Don't reject me too.
Please pull my soul back down and connest it to me again.
Hold me still, so I won't fall back down.
Hold my hand,
Down this rocky path,
And don't let go.

Loved that was filled

You were the only one I could ever love,
If I lashed out at you,
You'd stay by my side, bleeding.
If I'd cry, you'd wipe away my tears.
Our love never seemed to lose it's passionate heat.
I feel so 'tainted' and 'filthy',
Others don't want me, so why did you?
Others laughed at me, and tore me down,
Yet you lifted me up from my pit of sorrow,
And held me close.
So close to my ear you'd whisper 'I Love you'.
I wish we were still as in-love adn 'innocent' as we were then,
Our thunderstorm kisses, and love filled words.
My darling, my love.
He is forever lost in the storm of my rage and pain,
If only if he knew what happened, and what he did.
I don't know what he'd say,
Yet he still has the other part of my heart.
Forever more, and always.

Our happy ending

I'll be here, 'waiting',

His last words,

I am now awake,

(I'll be here, 'waiting',)

I stare down at his gravestone,

I'll be here, 'waiting'

carved into the lichen covered tomb.

My angry

(tears)

hands dig into his

(grave)

resting place.

Broken glass from old beer bottles and thorns from dead roses left from family poke my skin.

Blood covers my hands and soaks into the awaiting ground.

I scream,

My bloodied hands scream at me in pain.

Pain is good anymore, I can actually feel something.

I know my cries won't bring him back,

but maybe, it'll leave me mute for the rest of my life.

Just so others don't know about my pain.

Weights and knives

Every passing day,
My heart has another weight put on it.
I know who I serve.
And trying to
(break free)
leave is impossible.
Slay myself?
Heh, tried that, I'm here now, aren't I?
I don't know why he doesn't let me die,
He knows I'm 'happy'.
He enjoys my poisenous tears,,
And my childish fears.
But he deosn't know,
He's next.

Chained and beaten

The blood that binds me to him,
Chained to his bed as a dog chained to his rotting house.
Bound to his heart.
I now regret my bond,
and I wish I chose death.
I wish I had never bled just to give him life.
My tears are my poisen,
bringing forth his lust.
I am a slave to his desires,
Am I now free?
No, he still has me, (chained and beaten),
Till the day he reawakes.
And that day,
May just be my last.

Piercing screams,
Blackened out in the darkness,
Angry fangs break skin,
as torn faces are mocked.
Sin filled blood squelches out the tall towers of colored grass,
Painting them red, tainting the flawless green.
Moist leaves silence the struggles of the lost,
as the wind carries away all words.
Lifeless ground brings little pain,
as the silent wings take air.

I am not alone

I won't cry,

Because you’re not there,

I won't cry,

Because you don’t care,

I won't cry,

Because you love her,

I won’t cry,

Because of my stupid actions,

I won't cry,

Because want to,

I will cry,

Because I need you,

I will cry,

Because when you left,

You too the better half of me,

I will cry,

Because you left me here in the mud, crying(and so broken)

I will cry,

Because I have been tainted,

And other hate me for it.

But I will not cry,

Because I am not alone.