Topic: Love, Mission: To conquer it

I feel so
[empty]
rotten inside.
Am I really what I think I am?
[or wish to be?]
A mistake?
I see the girls walk by
[and I hate them]
and I wish to be them.
Keeping it all
[together]
is harder than I thought.
I don't know what to fight for,
[or how to fight it]
and I'm
[not letting go]
giving up.
My soul and body are two separate
[pieces]
beings, rejecting the other.
I don't understand why I live
[continue]
this
[facade]
dance of
[regrets]
pain.
My only unwaking
[inhuman]
trance.
Wake me up.
[Don't keep me in winter forever]
Don't let me fall.
Hold me
[close]
tight, and hold
[my waist]
my hand.
{[Forever]}

mY nEvEr EnDiNg NiGhTmAre

H34KF899R
I hAtE tHaT nUmBeR oN mY aRm.
H34KF899R
i LoOk At It EvEry MoRnInG aNd WiSh I wAs SoMewHeRe ElSe.
H34KF899R
It MaKeS mE wAnT tO pUkE.
H34KF899R
wIlL mY eNtIrE lIfE bE sPeNt BeHiNd ThEsE bArS?
H34KF899R
OnE wRoNg MoVe AnD i'M dEaD.
H34KF899R
I aLwAyS pRaY tHeY wIlL kIlL mE,
H34KF899R
BeAcAuSe It MaY jUsT sEt mE fReE.

Her last heartbeat

A blank page whispers,
“Write on me, please.”,
as the transparency of people is lost.
Mangled honesty is held by a tread,
as the last of her prejudice slips away.
Her endangered sanity brings shy music to the world of silence.
Torn rumors sleep in the darkness of light,
and the eyes that have long pieced her heart, gone.
Silver lined thoughts and boiling lust makes the weak fall,
as it did to her.
Spinning desires in their own little webs of greed and lies,
captured the young heart of the innocent.
Sleeping down in her own little bathroom,
Every night she’s begging any and every god to end her life.
A blade to her wrists,
and a Bible sitting beside her.
She takes her last breath,
and plunges into the unending.

Deadly Beautiful Silk

Curves, size zeros,
and deadly beautiful facades.
Childish giggles, pink lipstick
and short denim skirts.
Silken words,
Are dripping with
[poison]
sarcasm.
Bloodless lies and
[broken]
shattered truths are lest the only thing known of me.
Hiding from the
[fear]
cold inside of
[myself. ]
this cave.
I’ve
[spun]
created this
[web]
entanglement of
[pain]
anger.
And I
[should be]
can’t
[the one]
stand up
[who destroys]
against
[my fears.]

Dare to to live.

This is it.
Are you happy?
I'm stretched,
and threadbare.
My threads of life slip through my fingertips,
as the scissors are drawn.
So close to the end,
and yet, so far away.
Cold warped fingers wrap around the skin,
as the icy, fiery hot daggers twist and pull at my heart.
Like the double edged sword to a wound.
Calling to the blind and forcing them to see,
Making the cripple walk,
what have we all come to?
Are we to live in this hell?
Are we to hurt and destroy others?
What id it were your own spouse, or children, or family??
Would you hurt them too?
Can you take my hand and life me up?
Or are you too good to touch me?
Or even glance my way?
Who made you God?
I know that if I were God,
I'd want you to go though all the pain you made me do.
But i have one thing you don't.
Compassionate love.
I know I am not deadly beautiful,
or perfect skinned.
But I do know,
that my life is worth something.

Marine for life

I am so battered, and beaten,
So tired of being here,
I can’t seem to pull myself back together.
I don’t know why I get out of bed every morning.
I only wake up to bombing and gunfire.
Some nights I don’t even get sleep,
I just sit in my foxhole, waiting.
Everyday I do the same,
I’m up to my elbows in blood,
Or I’m dodging the bullets shot at me.
It’s just another day.
Yet I will fight.
I will stand strong.
No one can stop me,
No one will stand in my way.
I can still see that mangled child in the corner.
Crying as she clutched her brother’s corpse.
The only family she had left, gone.
I can remember carrying her out of that little hole,
Her bloodied arms staining my uniform.
I mean, isn’t this was I came here for?
I signed the papers,
I went to boot camp,
I walked on that ship.
I road in that Hummer,
And I slept on that cot.
I will not give up.
I will not give in to doubt.
I will stand,
Until I fall, I will still fight.
Even in death, I will fight for life.
I will not give up.
I will not give….
I will not…
I will…
I…
…