Wishes to reality

I'm losin' control,

The music is shakin' my bones,

My blood is boilin',

Keep your hands on my hips.

So turn up the music,

Let me feel the beat,

Come a little closer baby,

I want to feel you dancin' next to me.

I want you next to me,

Feel my beat.

Don't forget the warmth of this room.

So turn up the music,

Let me feel the beat,

Come a little closer baby,

I want to feel you dancin' next to me.

Taste your sweat,

running and mixing with mine.

Love me,

Don't let me go.

So turn up the music,

Let me feel the beat,

Come a little closer baby,

I want to feel you dancin' next to me.

I want you to bring me closer,

Feel my hips close to you,

Bring me lower,

Don't let me fall.

So turn up the music,

Let me feel the beat,

Come a little closer baby,

I want to feel you dancin' next to me.

Ravish my body with your beat,

Let me feel you,

Press me closer,

I want you closer.

So turn up the music,

Let me feel the beat,

Come a little closer baby,

I want to feel you dancin' next to me

I wake up from this fairytale, and groan.

Because I know this is one reality,

I will never own.

Death Day of my sanity

Am I so repulsive,
you need to turn your back?
Am I so discusting,
that you need have the urge to spit on me?
I thought this was a day of love, only,
you reject and deject me.
I can't stand it.
This day is one I most passionately hate.
It makes me want to cry.
Do you honestly believe that I can understand your pain,
when I am blinded by my own?
It's my day,
my personal Death Day.
To see girls with their loves,
and carrying roses, or carnations,
how do you think I feel?
I know you'd never really love me that way,
but it doesn't matter, now does it?
You made a promise you couldn't keep.
"One year, six months",
Well, it's been one year, six months,
and two days.
But it's not like I'm counting or anything.
I mean, please,
just because you've dated 3 of my friends (two of which I was close to),
you honestly think I'm angry?
I'm none of that,
only broken.
All thanks to you,
I'm a fuckin' whore near 'your kind'.
And none want this tainted, mangled body.
I am a pit of despair,
and I know I can't change that.
I only wish,
that I could be loved again.
More passionate and hopeFULL than ours.
But that day will never come.
Because I've lost my happy ending.

Hopeless.

You try to shackle me down.
I already am shackled.
Your voice commands my moves,
and I attempt to protect you.
You take the blows,
as I plan out the battle.
I will protect you with my life.
I will not let you down.
I am your Fighter, this is what I was born to do.
You are the Sacrifice,
this is how we were made.
I will fight for you,
you will heal me back up.
I will keep you safe,
and you will not allow me to abandon my post.
Marines stay at their post.
So do I.
Because I have endured more than any other Marine,
and you more than any other commander.
For together,
we are Fighter and Sacrifice,
Protector and Protected,
we are,
Hopeless.

Cold as Steel

Its cold, mom.
I hate the cold.
Remember when you’d bundle me up?
I don’t.
Because you never did.
Hell, you left me in a phone booth.
An oopsie baby.
Was I?
Just a condom-forgotten one night stand?
And did I ever get in the way of your ‘quick sessions’?
Sorry about that.
I didn’t really have any choice in the matter.
Well, I hope you’re happy.
I’ve been raped 6 times,
Beaten by my foster fathers (Did I mention I’ve been to 8 foster homes?)
and I was sent to juvenile hall for something I didn’t do.
But it’s still cold, mom.
I joined the Marines yesterday.
I leave for Iraq in 7 months, 2 weeks, and 8 days.
I’m also working on my first novel, I think you might like it.
It’s going to be published next year.
By the way,
Who’s my dad?
I want to meet him too.
Do you get my letters, mom?
Or should I just burn them?

It’s cold here mom.
I wish I could tell you ‘I love you’,
But I don’t even know you.
I’m graduating in a few months.
Don’t worry about me, I’ll make it.
I guess you could say I keep to myself in class,
And write bits of poetry and letter like I am now.


It’s cold mom.
Oh, did I mention I’m living with my brother?
Yeah, I found him a few months ago.
You left him too.
His name is Jason.
Ring any bells?
He works as a bus driver and is a manager as a restaurant.
I’m a waitress there too.
We’re thinking about moving south, close to the Marine base in North Carolina.
We have friends there too.Kinda weird huh?
We have a beach house all picked out.
It’s red with white shutters,
Found it cheap too.

It’s cold mom.
It’s always cold.
Just like the night you abandoned me.
Life sucks.
Believe me. I know.

It’s cold mom,
Like steel.
I think I know about sex, mom.
My first time sucked.
It was painful.
I didn’t like it.

It’s cold mom,
The body in my arms,
It’s cold.
She’s my little sister,
Another one of your ‘truck stop children’,
Like me and Jay.
Her blood is frozen,
And her heart stopped beating last night.
I hate the cold.
It’s cold mom.
I hate it.
Like I hate you.