Cold as Steel

Its cold, mom.
I hate the cold.
Remember when you’d bundle me up?
I don’t.
Because you never did.
Hell, you left me in a phone booth.
An oopsie baby.
Was I?
Just a condom-forgotten one night stand?
And did I ever get in the way of your ‘quick sessions’?
Sorry about that.
I didn’t really have any choice in the matter.
Well, I hope you’re happy.
I’ve been raped 6 times,
Beaten by my foster fathers (Did I mention I’ve been to 8 foster homes?)
and I was sent to juvenile hall for something I didn’t do.
But it’s still cold, mom.
I joined the Marines yesterday.
I leave for Iraq in 7 months, 2 weeks, and 8 days.
I’m also working on my first novel, I think you might like it.
It’s going to be published next year.
By the way,
Who’s my dad?
I want to meet him too.
Do you get my letters, mom?
Or should I just burn them?

It’s cold here mom.
I wish I could tell you ‘I love you’,
But I don’t even know you.
I’m graduating in a few months.
Don’t worry about me, I’ll make it.
I guess you could say I keep to myself in class,
And write bits of poetry and letter like I am now.


It’s cold mom.
Oh, did I mention I’m living with my brother?
Yeah, I found him a few months ago.
You left him too.
His name is Jason.
Ring any bells?
He works as a bus driver and is a manager as a restaurant.
I’m a waitress there too.
We’re thinking about moving south, close to the Marine base in North Carolina.
We have friends there too.Kinda weird huh?
We have a beach house all picked out.
It’s red with white shutters,
Found it cheap too.

It’s cold mom.
It’s always cold.
Just like the night you abandoned me.
Life sucks.
Believe me. I know.

It’s cold mom,
Like steel.
I think I know about sex, mom.
My first time sucked.
It was painful.
I didn’t like it.

It’s cold mom,
The body in my arms,
It’s cold.
She’s my little sister,
Another one of your ‘truck stop children’,
Like me and Jay.
Her blood is frozen,
And her heart stopped beating last night.
I hate the cold.
It’s cold mom.
I hate it.
Like I hate you.